The significance of shared nostalgia…

"I always remember my dad building me stilts when I was a kid" said Richard when he proudly presented Meltham Dads Kids Club with a junior and grown-up set of stilts he'd just made. Reluctant at first, possibly because they'd never strode on stilts, dads, male carers and kids all got a little taller and took their first elevated steps. My turn came around, up I stepped and it all came back to me - the thrill of the precarious platform that felt far higher than what it was, and the magical memory of making stilts with my granddad in what must have been 1983.

Richard's nostalgia unlocked a joyous moment I hadn't had the pleasure of enjoying in 43 years. He went on to perform stilt stunts that confirmed his dad must have made many pairs.

After that we shared stories about men that had made our young lives memorable, that led to bigger conversations about the young men we were, the men we are now, and how our masculinities have evolved. All this thanks to a couple of lengths of timber, feeling safe to share our stories with men who were once strangers and the common need to feel a sense of belonging.

Professor Brené Brown spent years studying what actually builds human connection. Her conclusion was less about grand gestures and more about simply showing up - together, in the same room, feeling the same things. As she writes in Braving the Wilderness. The quest for true belonging and the courage to stand alone:

"The more we're willing to seek out moments of collective joy and show up for experiences of collective pain — for real, in person, not online — the more difficult it becomes to deny our human connection, even with people we may disagree with."

So it could be stilts or crisp pockets - the more we feel safe sharing, the more we realise others share our nostalgia, that evokes memories and creates belonging.

What's the thing from your childhood that, if someone else mentioned it, would instantly make them feel less like a stranger?

Scott

I'm Scott. Founder of Dads Kids Club. We're a dad-led Community Interest Company that invites men to get more involved in their kids' education - improving children's educational engagement, men's mental health and life opportunities for both. 

We invite, train and mobilise dads, step-dads, grandads, uncles and male carers to co-run screen-free, hands-on Saturday clubs at their children's primary schools. Men share skills, connect and bond. Children enjoy beyond-the-curriculum activities - building confidence, new skills and memories that last. We celebrate all masculinities, backgrounds, identities and beliefs.

If you work in education, family services, philanthropy or simply believe in what happens when dads show up - I'd love to connect.

📧 info@dadskids.club 🌐@DadsKidsClub (on Instagram)